Hey PopWatchers, did you hear? Word is a very naughty newcomer with a mysterious past returned to stir things up for everyone, but especially one, on last night’s Gossip Girl.
See, I too can write like our omniscient narrator, voiced by Kristen Bell. In fact, the acronym-tastic way of speaking is pretty addictive. I’ll confess to seeing GG star Taylor Momsen (Jenny) on the street in the New York’s Meatpacking District one sunny Saturday afternoon—and immediately texting my co-worker Tanner Stransky with the following: “Spotted. One social-climbing freshman with a nose for trouble heading into a coffee shop. Guess who? XOXO.” Groan, I know. But the funny thing? Nearly everyone who passed by her appeared to be doing the same thing, whipping out their phones and whispering madly into their companions’ ears. The whole situation felt very meta, as if the 14-year old Momsen were the Serena to my Kati, with someone else, far away, writing about it.
But enough about that. Let’s move on to the multiple-choice test GG slipped us last night. So many possible answers to the huge question mark that is Serena’s troubled past—and Georgina’s stranglehold on her. Mischa Barton reportedly turned down the part of the UES muckraker, but Michelle Trachtenberg excelled at playing harlot-villain Georgina. The first sign that her intentions were evil? Those inky latex leggings. They don’t look good on anyone, and no "good" girl I know would actually wear such things. Anyway, I enjoyed the two joining forces at a club and reminiscing fondly about their party-girl ways, holding hands, fending off the Wall Street-types swarming around them. (And Crystal Castles in the background! Double happiness.) Aww! Until? Serena realized she was drunk, and had to return home immediately…to Chuck. But more on that later.
Georgina certainly has a bag of tricks up her sleeve—staging an accidental meeting with Dan at Central Park was genius—but slipping a drop of GHB into Serena’s diet coke? Really? What exactly was she trying to accomplish? Either way, a crumpled Serena woke up the next morning too woozy to remember the previous night’s antics, and just minutes too late to make it to her SAT exam. (The anxiety surrounding the latter incident felt realistically handled.) Nate’s donation of SAT hand-me-downs, however, was not, especially if you were like me and you scribbled all of your answers into the book. And given Nate’s behavior on the show, I’m guessing that most of those filled-out bubbles were wrong. Sly sabotage? Don’t they both want to go to Dartmouth?

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